As I Am
by Aromene
Summary: A nervous Elrond proposes to Celebrían.


**Disclaimer:  I do not own, nor pretend to own the characters of Elrond, Celebrían or Glorfindel, nor the world in which they live.  These belong to the Estate of J.R.R. Tolkien.**

**Author's Note:  **

**7 years ago I met an up and coming singer/songwriter named Heather Dale.  She had just recorded her first CD, and her father gave me a copy to listen to.  It was a medley of Celtic music based on the legend of King Arthur (both passions of mine) and I liked it immediately.  The lyrics were hauntingly beautiful and Heather had an amazing voice.**

**Over the years we have become friends, and she has recorded many CDs since then.**

**Her latest, entitled "May Queen", deals mostly with King Arthur and Gwenyfar's marriage and Lancelot's betrayal of his king.  'Tis a beautiful CD and many of the tracks remind me of events and characters in LOTR.**

**The first track, "As I Am", is Arthur's proposal to Gwen; but from the first moment I heard it, I have thought it applied even better to Elrond and his young bride.**

**So, here is an entirely inspirational piece.  It's dedicated to Heather; friend and talented singer.**

**If you're curious, check out www.heatherdale.com for more information and song clips.**

As I Am

            Glorfindel had told him she was walking in the east garden when he had last seen her, so Elrond tried there first.

            The east side of the house was a literal maze of winding paths and twisting stairs; broken every now and then by a stone bench on which a wanderer might rest.

            It had also been one of his favorite spots in the entire valley and he had been amused and pleased that Celebrían had fallen in love with it on her first visit to Imladris with her mother.  A time that felt like Ages ago to Elrond.

            He had seen too much in the last few centuries, and lost even more.  Gil-galad's death still weighted heavily on his mind, but he was recovering from the grief, however slowly.

            This had been Glorfindel's idea to begin with, Elrond recalled.  Imladris' Lord had been quite taken with the young Lady of Lórien when they had met centuries before.  They had grown close over the years, and before he had marched East with the Last Alliance he had been almost certain they would be married.

            But the war had changed all that.  It had left a dark mark on his heart that he feared would never go away.  When Gil-galad had died, part of Elrond had died with him.

            He didn't think Celebrían deserved a husband that could only give her half his heart.  But Glor had thought otherwise; had reasoned and lectured until he had convinced Elrond of it as well.

            Celebrían wouldn't care whether his whole heart loved her, so long as he loved her as much as he was able.  And, Glorfindel had pointed out; Elrond was desperately in need of her loving soul and gentle heart; to help heal him, as much as he could be healed.

            So here he was, wandering through his favorite gardens in search of the silver-haired maiden who had captured his heart.

            He took one of the winding stairs down to the lower levels, following the path around to the waterfall.

            She was sitting on one of the benches at the base of the falls.  Celebrían was humming quietly to herself as she dangled one foot in the cooling waters.

            Elrond stopped a dozen paces away; content for a moment to simply watch her.  And try to find the courage that was all of a sudden failing him.  He had faced a horde of thousands of orcs on the plains of Mordor, but suddenly that seemed easier than what he was about to attempt.

            He took a step forward and stopped abruptly, wincing as, in his nervousness, he snapped a twig under his foot.

            Celebrían froze, turning quickly to find the source of the noise.  Her startled expression softened and she smiled brightly at him and beckoned him to sit beside her.

            He took a ragged breath and accepted the invitation.

_I suppose that I look different, without the robes and crown._

_I come this day before you with no riches, no renown._

_For here I am no leader, I am just a humble man._

_And I only ask you take me; you take me as I am._

            "Celebrían, I…" he trailed of abruptly; all his planned words vanishing.  But she only smiled encouragingly at him.

            And suddenly he was certain she knew why he had come; that somehow she had figured this out and that their meeting here, beside the falls, had been planned: not by him, but by her and Glor.  He wasn't certain if that should make him more nervous or not, but he unexpectedly found the words that had failed him a moment before.

_I'm not looking for perfection; I'm not offering a saint._

_I'm not looking for a pretty bird to put in some restraint._

_The only thing I want is that you love me, if you can._

_And I only ask you take me; you take me as I am._

            "Cel, it has been more than a century since I returned from the war.  I swore to you before I left that when I did we would make a life together.  I haven't kept that promise very well.  Nay," he held up his hand to stall her reply.  "Let me say this.  I have hid behind my grief long enough.  And you have patiently waited long enough.  But, I feel I must tell you something first."

            She took his hand and kissed it gently; nodding at him to continue.

            "As you know, I lost my brother to the Fate of Men when I was still young.  I have never gotten over his death, although I have learned to live with it.  But when Ereinion fell…the loss was just as painful and I was certain I would not be able to come to terms with it.  I haven't, not entirely: I do not think I ever shall.  But I will try, for you and for us.  But I have not the strength to do it alone.  I need you Cel; I need your light and love.

_I offer you a look inside, I offer you that trust._

_I need your strength to help me fight the battles that I must._

_I need you to remind me of the light we bear within._

_That there's more to life than struggle and the things we seek to win._

            "You have it meleth nin, always," she said and took him into her arms.  "No matter what may come we will see it through together, and I will be right at your side.  Always and forever."

            "Oh Cel, meleth nin.  How could I live without you?"

            Celebrían smiled, "We need never find out.  We will never be parted for as long as Arda remains.  I will be with you always Elrond; always."

_Don't take me out of duty.  Don't take me out of pride._

_Just take me if the man you see is one you'd stand beside._

_I'm offering an open heart, I'm asking for your hand._

_And I only ask you take me; you take me as I am._

            "Thank you Cel, for everything, but most of all for waiting so long.  I will never let us be parted.  We have been so for too long already.  I love you Cel.  Now and forever."

            "Now and forever," she echoed.

            Elrond smiled and leaned down to capture her lips with his own.

            The river flowed on, tumbling down into the valley.  And with it the last of Elrond's grief and fear tumbled away as well.  Imladris' Lord knew true joy for the first time in his life.

_And I only ask you take me; you take me as I am._

~The End~


End file.
